Yes, he was in luck, no doubt of it. Scudder had proved honest and kind. He was lovely to be with, a treasure, a charmer, a find in a thousand, the longed-for dream. But was he brave?
"Nice you and me like this..." the lips so close now that it was scarcely speech. "Who'd have thought...First time I ever seed you I thought, 'Wish I and that one...' just like that... 'wouldn't I and him...' and it is so.
"Yes, and that's why we've got to fight."
"Who wants to fight?" He sounded annoyed. "There's bin enough fighting."
"All the world's against us. We've got to pull ourselves together and make plans, while we can."
"What d'you want to go and say a thing like that for, and spoil it all?"
"Because it has to be said. We can't allow things to go wrong and hurt us again the way they did down at Penge."
Alec suddenly scrubbed at him with the sun-roughened back of a hand and said, "That hurt, didn't it, or oughter. That's how I fight." It did hurt a little, and stealing into the foolery was a sort of resentment. "Don't talk to me about Penge," he went on. "Ooh! Mah! Penge where I was always a servant and Scudder do this and Scudder do that and the old lady, what do you think she once said? 'Oh, would you most kindly of your goodness post this letter for me, what's your name?' What's yer name! Every day for six months I come up to Clive's bloody front porch door for orders and his mother don't know my name. She's a bitch. I said to 'er, 'What's yer name? Fuck yer name.' I nearly did too. Wish I 'ad too. Maurice, you wouldn't believe how servants get spoken to. It's too shocking for words. That Archie London you're so set on is just as bad, and so are you, so are you. 'Haw my man,' and all that. You've no idea how you nearly missed getting me. Near as nothing I never climbed that ladder when you called, he don't want me really, and I went flaming mad when you didn't turn up at the boathouse as I ordered. Too grand! We'll see. Boathouse was a place I always fancied. I'd go down for a smoke before I'd ever heard of you, unlock it easy, got the key on me still as a matter of fact...boathouse, looking over the pond from the boathouse, very quiet, now and then a fish jump and cushions the way I arrange them."
He was silent, having chattered himself out. He had begun rough and gay and somehow factitious, then his voice had died away into sadness as though truth had risen to the surface of the water and was unbearable.
"We'll meet in your boathouse yet," Maurice said.
"No, we won't." He pushed him away, then heaved, pulled him close, put forth violence, and embraced as if the world was ending. "You'll remember that, anyway." He got out and looked down out of the grayness, his arms hanging empty. It was as if he wished to be remembered thus. "I could easy have killed you."
"Or I you."