Pride and Prejudice Chapter Eleven.
In chapter eleven of Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Darcy are once again drawn into a conversational dance they seem barely aware of. Rather, Elizabeth seems barely aware of it - Darcy, though his specific thoughts are more opaque than hers, we can infer is catching on to the dynamic. Certainly, his initial actions reflect a possibly intentional desire to please her. In the previous chapter, on the previous evening, Elizabeth rejected cards in favor of a book. Now Darcy does the same.
Elizabeth does not notice this mirroring or the praise from Darcy that it implies. Indeed, the story of this chapter is one of Elizabeth misunderstanding him - she refuses to hear what he really says to her. Perhaps because of Elizabeth’s primacy in the narrative - and the primacy of her thoughts and feelings - it can be difficult for the reader to truly hear what he says as well. We know at this point that Darcy is attracted to Elizabeth, but what we continue to learn in this chapter is his growing appreciation for their intellectual compatibility, his frustration at her refusal to recognize it, and his apprehension at causing her to recognize it.
The key to this is in Elizabeth’s own words: “We can all plague and punish one another. Tease him—laugh at him. Intimate as you are, you must know how it is to be done.” Elizabeth admits that people who know each other well know how to laugh at each other - right before she teases Darcy to his face. Without realizing, Elizabeth is inviting intimacy with him, and he knows it though she does not.
Darcy does not mind her teasing, but he does challenge it - he does attempt to let her know that her desire to laugh at him might not be as easily satisfied as it is with others. This is something easily missed - the conversation begins as one about Darcy and Miss Bingley, and her ability to laugh at him, but it very quickly becomes one about Darcy and Elizabeth, and Miss Bingley is sidelined. This is a demonstration of their affinity; once they begin talking, even about other people, they quickly focus on each other.
Darcy understands this shared focus and affinity but Elizabeth does not - she believes that Darcy is huffily defending himself. What he is really doing is bantering, and challenging her - he tells her that if she wants to laugh at him, she will have to try harder than that. He also lets her know that whatever pride he has is regulated and earned, which means that Miss Bingley’s flattery cannot reach him. Darcy is telling Elizabeth, and showing her, that he responds better to teasing than he does to deference.
Darcy is bound to be frustrated here - he tells Elizabeth that she “willfully” misunderstands people, specifically him. What she misunderstands is his position on this conversation. Elizabeth believes they have been arguing, while Darcy believes they have been playfully bantering.